Saturday, January 21, 2012

Suddenly...NOTHING!

January 21, 2012
     I never seem to have enough time to do ALL of the things I want to do, have to do, should do, etc... When I finally find some extra time, I get overwhelmed with all of the things I finally get to do and can't decide which one to start with, or I get so involved with the details of one project, that it seems I got absolutely nothing done!
     I know this is the reason why making a "to-do-list" is very important and helpful when it comes to prioritizing and staying focused on the tasks at hand, especially if you're a bit hyperactive and  "multi-task" oriented like I am. I actually enjoy plane rides because I'm forced to sit still for more than 10 mins. and given the opportunity to write in my journal, collect my thoughts, and read more than 2 pages in a good book that I keep attempting to read. I get so motivated about the great ideas I come up with and future projects I plan to tackle.  The problem is that after my trip is over and I'm back home, all of the "have to's" are waiting for me when I walk in my door and it seems like all of my planning has gone out the window.
     Here I am 6 days after returning from my Texas trip sitting on my couch sick. I did NOT get sick standing out in Times Square in a bikini, since I haven't even been there in 2 weeks or so. The ONLY time I get sick is when I let myself get run down and over stressed.  The stress that comes with traveling such as packing, carrying heavy bags, sitting squashed between two people that aren't respecting my "personal space", renting a car, getting lost, and then trying to get comfortable in a strange bed...is all just the normal traveling stress most people experience. I was going to see my son at Lackland Air Force Base graduate from Basic Training in the morning after not seeing him for 8 1/2 weeks and realized (at midnight) I lost the tickets to get us onto the Military Base, which was only administered after criminal background checks were done on anyone attending the ceremony. That was my biggest FREAK OUT of the trip!
     Luckily God looks over me and I was able to drive to the base at 12:30am and get new passes. The first time seeing him would be at 8am during his Airman's Run (which is a BIG deal) and we were in traffic and then lost on the base at 8:03. The thought of missing him and having him think I wasn't there for him was making me sick.  We missed the beginning of it but luckily were in the place where the troops would be finishing up. The smile on his face when he finally saw us at the very end of his run started my first crying episode. Yes, there were many of those moments!
Next was the Coin Ceremony which was outside in the freezing cold (in the 30's). I'm pretty convinced that 30 mins. in a bikini in Times Square is easier than 2 hours with clothes and a coat. Seeing him march onto the field and then receive his ceremonial coin was another very proud moment. I was informed that he would not be released from the field until I came up and touched his shoulder, then he could leave with his family. I ran over to him, touched his shoulder and finally gave him a big hug...crying episode #3.
     We got to spend a nice day together on the base and catch up with what he's been through over the last 2 months. As a parent, it's great to see your child stand tall with a sense of pride, especially in that uniform. The next day was the actual graduation ceremony where they recited the Airman's Creed. I think I got more choked up thinking about all of the kids, excuse me...soldiers, that didn't have family there to see them graduate and had no one to tap them on the shoulder. That was sad! Arrangements were made prior for those Airman to leave with other military families...but it's not the same.
     I got to spend 3 great days with my kids and my mom site seeing and spending quality time together. Sunday morning we only had a few hours together before we had to get to the airport and he had to then fly to California. I spent most of the morning hiding my tears from him so I didn't upset him and ruin our last few hours hanging out. My younger son kept telling me he wants to join right out of high school and my daughter is talking about traveling. I suddenly started feeling like I was having a mid-life crisis on the plane. Every time someone asked me the next day how it was I got choked up all over again.

     Within 3 days of being home, I started getting a sore throat, cough, head cold, etc... from stress (both the good and bad).  So here I am home with the opportunity to do all of those things I've had on my "to-do list" and I sat here staring at the computer with  nothing to write until I just started typing and the rest is history. That is how I got the title, looking at a blank screen..."Suddenly... NOTHING"!
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